because behaving is boring

Monthly Archives: February 2011

Ashlee. Spelled with two “E’s” for a reason. An Ashlee, not to be confused with an Ashley, is no goody two shoes or poser. She goes against the grain, and may not fit in with any certain clique but she sets the trends. A possible social outcast, very independent, very desirable. A real vixen, and a dynamo in the sack.

Well I suppose that’s pretty accurate…But I’m not so sure about that last part.

Also?

This is a total cop out. I wanted to post but I didn’t like what I wrote. Hey, at least I’m honest.

OH, and in other news…

With one of my lovely soroity sisters

I had such a great time this weekend with my sorority sisters (and our brother fraternity) and there are many stories to tell…BUT they’re mostly stories that would probably only be funny if you were there.

Girly shots might have been taken. Don't judge.


Today is my last day of employment before the countdown begins… Starting Monday I’ll be waiting for someone to come get me and walk me out of the building.

I’ve been with this company for two years and while I’m not exactly looking forward to the idea of being unemployed for an unknown amount of time, I’m ready to move on.

As with most relationships, things started out well. I loved my new job, loved the much bigger pay checks, and I really felt like I was making a difference every day. I think the honeymoon phase wore off when I started taking classes through my school. It didn’t take long for me to realize the classes were out of date and the instructors handed out A’s without really looking at the assignments I turned in. Basically, it was a big joke.

Things have slowly been getting worse since then until recently, when it seemed like every day was an absolute struggle. I know we all have days when it’s tempting to play hookey, but I had to talk myself into going to work every single day. It got so bad that I started getting stomach aches and headaches that would start sometimes Sunday evening, sometimes Monday morning, and last all week. On Friday, by the time I got halfway home they would miraculously disappear.

I had a talk with God one night on the way home from work… I basically told Him that if He was trying to give me a push in another direction I wasn’t going to fight it. I feel like He’s been trying to guide me in a different direction for a while now, but because I’m stubborn I needed Him to give me a big shove. Once I got home, I felt quite a bit better and have ever since. I guess I should have listened a long time ago when friends have told me to give my worries to God and let Him handle them.

I started applying for other jobs not long ago and I’m hoping one specific company will love me so much they just HAVE to hire me.

I’m not sure exactly when my last day will be…they like to keep you in the dark around here. I think they just like to stress their employees out as much as they possibly can.

I know I won’t miss coming to this place every day, or the guilt I feel for just doing my job, but I will miss some of the people. If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of them and I fully expect you to stay in touch.

It’s time to start a new chapter in my life and rather than worry about the things that are ending, I’m looking forward to the new beginnings.


I didn’t go to work today. I woke up feeling like someone was bouncing a bowling ball off of my head, turned my alarm off and went back to sleep. The headache was still there when I woke up again about an hour later so I left my boss a voicemail and burrowed back under the covers.

Eventually I wandered into the living room and fired up the ol’ laptop out of boredom.  I had to turn the brightness down on my screen because my of my headache, and I could only muster the energy to lay there and click the Stumble button over and over. Perhaps I’m being a little dramatic… I guess it wasn’t THAT awful.

Eventually I ended up on a food blog post that was all about alfredo sauce. I LOVE alfredo sauce and I instantly wanted some… I didn’t want to mess with looking up a recipe so I just rounded up some stuff and got to work.

I ended up with:

leftover onion

two cloves garlic

butter

cream cheese

milk

parmesan cheese

salt and pepper

basil

Putting the sauce together was simple…I don’t really know what amount I used of anything but it made enough sauce for just me. I put a little olive oil in a pan and let it heat, added the butter and diced onion, and let that cook for a few minutes. I also put a pot of water on high and added some salt. Once the onions had cooked for a little while I added the garlic. I should mention here that I used to hate cooking with real garlic because my hands would smell like it for days after, but then I bought a garlic press. It became my best friend.

Once that has cooked for a few minutes (don’t let the garlic burn or it’ll be sour and nasty) add a little cream cheese and stir until it melts. You don’t want a ton…I think I probably used a couple of tablespoons. Once it’s creamy, add some milk (maybe a cup?) and whisk like crazy. It won’t be very pretty at first but  just keep whisking and it should come together. Add some salt and pepper at this point, but be careful not to add a lot of salt. The cheese is pretty salty by itself.

Once you’ve got it all combined, add some parmesan cheese and whisk some more. Turn the stove down and let it thicken, just make sure to stir it occasionally.

While I was waiting for the pasta to cook and the sauce to thicken, I found some leftover biscuits on the counter so I buttered them, sprinkled on some garlic powder and parmesan cheese and stuck them under the broiler. Once everything was ready I just combined the pasta and sauce in a bowl and sprinkled more parmesan and a little basil on top. YUM.  Also? I know this is weird, but the burnt biscuits ended up being the best ones. I’m going to pretend I let them burn on purpose.

The biscuits got a little...done.

This is definitely NOT authentic alfredo… This is closer and is still pretty easy but I didn’t have any good parmesan or heavy cream. It also isn’t exactly diet-friendly…unless you’re trying to gain weight, I guess.

It was pretty good for only taking about 15 minutes to make… good for a quick dinner when you’re low on time!

 


 

…Are stupid.

Allow me to preface this by saying:

If you’re reading this and you get angry because you think I’m talking about you specifically…

Don’t flatter yourself. Chances are I’m not but it sounds like you have a guilty conscience so you might want to pay attention.

I do NOT understand people that walk around carrying grudges against other people. Sure, there are people that have hurt me and I don’t exactly want to be around them, but I can be civil when necessary.

It’s one thing to learn from a bad experience and want to protect yourself from being hurt in the future. It’s another thing entirely to then turn around and do everything you can to make another person’s life miserable.  What does that solve? I can tell you this much for sure, it makes you look like a sad, bitter person and it’s NOT attractive.

When you insist upon holding a grudge against someone, you’re heaping a heavy burden upon yourself that you then get to carry around. It takes a LOT of energy to hate someone in that way. I mean, think about it. I’m sure we all know someone that has allowed him or herself to be consumed by bitterness toward other people. Doesn’t that person look tired? Of course she does, because she likely is!

I don’t know about anyone else, but I prefer to worry more about my actions than those of other people. I’m the only person I can control so it makes sense to me. For instance, I couldn’t stop an ex-boyfriend from cheating on me, but I could absolutely control my reaction…and yes, it was painful to deal with and it took quite some time to get over. I grew as a person as a result of that experience and while I wouldn’t be ecstatic to see him again, I could handle it if I ran into him in a gas station. I’d probably even say hello.

I won’t lie, I’ve definitely held grudges against people in the past. It’s actually an easy habit to fall into. I worked hard to let those grudges go over the years and I feel so much better now. I guess that’s why, when I know someone is holding a grudge it makes me feel sorry for him or her.

Just think about it. All of that energy that’s being consumed to fuel your hatred of someone else? You could get rid of your hateful feelings and use that energy for something else. All of those friends that have disappeared? If you aren’t constantly talking about how much you can’t stand someone else they might actually come back.

I suppose what I’m trying to say here is just live and let live, people. We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got. Forgive those that have wronged you, forget your anger and move on.


Wow.

I never expected this post to get so many views! I’m glad y’all like my new ‘do…because I really do love it. I seriously felt a bit like a celebrity this evening because my phone was going crazy with Facebook and Twitter notifications while I was watching the number of views on my blog increase every time I refreshed.

You know what I think will be fun?

Well, that WOULD be fun but how would we get a camel to wear stockings?  I kid! If you know what I’m referencing you’re my best friend.

But seriously, I think I’m going to try a Q&A post. NOT to be confused with a T&A post. Come on guys,I’m a classy lady and this is a classy blog.

So here’s how this works:

Send your question to willfullydisobedientblog @ gmail. com (spaces on purpose so I don’t get spammed. Make sure to take the spaces out when you compose the email.). Please make sure to put something like “Question!” in the subject and sign your name if you want it to appear here…and if not, please make sure to sign it Anonymous.

Ask me anything! Of course, there might be some questions I find too personal or offensive and those won’t get posted. I’ll be checking it daily and once I get a pretty good number of different questions I’ll answer them all at once in a post.

I’m really excited about this!


I LOVE IT!


The other day I was talking to my friend Autumn about possible Saint Patrick’s Day plans…She mentioned that she was planning to make some Guinness beef stew that day.

I think you all know where this is going.

I’ve had beef stew on the brain ever since that conversation and after searching for HOURS (ok, ten minutes tops) I found a recipe that sounded perfect. I should probably confess that I’ve never used a crock pot before and I was ridiculously excited to try it out.

The recipe I found is here. I omitted the mushrooms because I don’t like slimy things floating around in my stew and my brother thinks he might be allergic. I pretty much followed the rest of the recipe as it was written, but I changed it to five servings so it would fit in my crock pot.

Ingredients!

Some of the recipes I found called for Guinness Extra Stout but since I already had regular ol’ Guinness in my fridge I used that. I also found some angus stew meat at Kroger that looked pretty good… I did have to trim some fat off but that could just be because I’m super disgusted by any fat on my meat at all. You could also go to your grocery store’s meat counter and have them cut up whatever hunk of cow you pick out.

Mooooooooooo

I’m all kinds of proud of myself for picking the beef out AND trimming it. Can I mention here that I hate how grocery stores package meat? They put the nice chunks on top and then when you get to the middle and bottom of the package you find pieces that are almost entirely fat. Boo to you, Kroger.

The recipe says to coat the meat in seasoned flour and then brown the outsides…I can’t really remember what ended up in the flour but I used just about every dry spice in my cupboard. You’ll want to brown the meat in small batches and then transfer the pieces to a paper towel lined plate.

Very small batches!

I only used four red potatoes, but I added more carrots and celery. I think I ended up with five carrots and two stalks of celery. I also put TWO bay leaves in because I’m such a rebel.

Veggies

Because I halved the recipe, it said to use one can of beef broth, one can of tomato sauce and about four ounces of Guinness. Once I had everything in there it looked kind of empty…Being the total rebel I am, I added another can of beef broth and tomato sauce. I also used the ENTIRE BOTTLE of Guinness. Look out guys, I’m in a rule-breaking mood over here. I also had cookies for breakfast. Somebody stop me!

Uh… Where was I? Oh, beef stew.

So once it was all assembled it looked like this:

The first crock pot ever made.

I set it on low and left it all day… And it smelled so wonderful that I had to leave my house because otherwise I might have eaten it all by myself.

So I went out and spent 200.00 on new clothes. Seemed like the right thing to do.

It had been cooking on low for about seven hours when I just couldn’t take it anymore and gave it a taste. Even though I hadn’t added any salt, it definitely tasted way too salty…And at first I thought it was ruined. I wasn’t about to give up, though. I added about two cups of water and then, just in case, I added one peeled potato (whole). I didn’t expect it to cook enough to be eaten, but I hoped it would absorb some of the extra salt. I removed the bay leaves and checked the potatoes and carrots. They weren’t as soft as I wanted them to be so I cranked that puppy to high for the last couple of hours and hoped they would soften.

The roomies got home and Stef made a beeline for the crock pot…

Caught red-handed

I had a loaf of French bread and some Kerrygold Irish Butter that I originally just intended to set on the table. Instead, I arranged some big slices of bread on a pizza pan, spread an obscene amount of butter on them and put them under the broiler on low for a few minutes. YUM.

The verdict?

Well, it was definitely more of a soup than a stew…adding that extra liquid was likely the issue there. It tasted really good, but there was a bitterness to it. My brother thinks it was from the tomato sauce and I’m inclined to agree. Next time I’ll try V8 juice.

I think I’ll go with just one bay leaf and lay off the Italian seasoning next time…and I didn’t notice the Cajun seasoning at all so I’ll likely leave that out, too.

BUT all in all I think everyone was pretty happy with it. Hope so, ’cause we have a TON of leftovers!


Whenever I’m out with friends, there’s a moment when I simply can NOT find my phone, cigarettes, whatever. I start pulling things out of my purse one by one and someone always exclaims “How much stuff do you have in there?!”

Well. A lot.

You wouldn't believe what this thing can hold.

What’s in my purse, you ask? Well let me tell you:

The latest Nuvo

Camera

Makeup bag

Makeup brushes

Notebook

Schindler’s List

A Tale of Two Cities

Two Sharpie pens (blue and black)

Calendar

Hair Ties

3 packs of cigarettes (Yes, 3. I don’t like to run out.)

Lighters

Two kinds of deoderant

Lip Balm (Burt’s Bees and Chicken Poop)

Twilight Woods PocketBac

Gum

Car and house keys

Clinique Black Honey lipstick

Netflix movie (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) that I’ve had for three months. Oops.

Chase promotion

Mudbugs coupon

Blackberry

Gold Bond hand lotion

Eye drops

Advil

2 bags Pretzel M&M’s

Sunglasses (cheapies I picked up in Chicago when my aviators broke)

iPod

Wallet

**Not pictured: Perfume that smells AMAZING. I’m not telling you what it is because I’m selfish.

And my wallet is just as full of stuff:

Cash

Check Card

Discount cards for Mudbugs, Great Harvest, Dunkin’ Donuts and Maurices

iTunes pick of the week card: Josh Groban

License

CTA card

2 fortune cookie fortunes

Stamps

American Airlines baggage claim ticket from 3 years ago

Starbucks giftcard

Card from Eggsperience (if you’re in Chicago you NEED to go there)

DMB tickets from the Wrigley field shows last year

**Not visible in this picture: My ticket to the Colts vs. Titans game from Jan. 2nd

So there you have it, the contents of my purse and wallet right now. Even I’m surprised at how much stuff I carry in there!


Two posts today! Aren’t you lucky?

I can’t stress enough that this is a 100% true story… Even I couldn’t make something like this up…

Every trip to the women’s restroom at work is an adventure. Most of the time, you have to pee as fast as you can while holding your breath because the smell is just THAT BAD. The odor is usually a foul mix of unwashed female nether-regions and someone’s digestive problems and it lingers like an unwanted house guest. I can’t express how bad this smell is…And it usually hits you when you’re about five feet from the bathroom door. That’s right, BEFORE YOU EVEN WALK IN.

The inside of the restroom will usually leave you wondering how long a pack of rabid badgers has lived there. If you’re brave enough to look into the stalls you’re likely to find one or (usually) more of the following:

-Pee all over the seat

-Massive wads of toilet paper swirling around in the bowl

-Equally massive turds playing marco polo* in the bowl

-Bloody fingerprints on the toilet paper dispenser, the stall door, walls and even the toilet seat

-Unidentifiable substances smeared everywhere

*I’m just kidding. Turds don’t play marco polo.

So let’s recap. Bathrooms smell terrible, look disgusting. Ok.

So I was sitting at my desk trying to finish a phone call because I had to pee like you wouldn’t even believe. Two big cups of coffee and a bottle of water right before a 30 minute phone call will do that to you. Just before my bladder reached defcon 2, I hung up the phone and  headed for the bathroom. I had to pee so badly that I actually had to concentrate on not sprinting because that’s not professional behavior. You guys know how I pride myself on behaving as professionally as possible while at work.

Anyway, as usual the smell hit me first about five feet from the door and because I was in such a hurry I didn’t bother to take a deep breath before entering. The second I opened the door the full force of the stench slapped me in the face but I covered my nose and kept going. After inspecting the first three stalls I finally found the fourth to be somewhat less of a biohazard compared to the others. I still made sure to wipe the seat off thoroughly, doing a ridiculous little pee-pee dance that involved hopping from one foot to the other the whole time. Man, I was never so happy to finally pee.

In my rush to get to a toilet before peeing my pants, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t alone in the restroom. Suddenly, I heard a bit of a gasp and a little plunk from the next stall over and then  “PRAISE JESUS!”.

Um. What?

Plop!  “OH LAWDY JESUS, THANK YOU!”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

A grunt, a louder KERPLUNK and then “PRAISE BE TO GOD! THANK YA JEEESUSSS!”

I sat there in complete disbelief for a couple of seconds wondering if the fumes inside the bathroom had caused me to hallucinate. I hadn’t heard anything else for a few minutes so I decided it would be safe to exit the stall and wash my hands as quickly as possible. I was hoping to avoid an awkward encounter with the unknown bomb-dropper.

Luck wasn’t on my side, though. As I stood there washing my hands I heard a flush and watched the woman walk out of the stall behind me in the mirror. She approached the sink, looked at me and said “Oh lawdy child…I feel SO much better”.


…But you can still have fun while you’re there.

I enjoy playing little games during my work day to entertain myself. I actually do this outside of work, too, like if I cross the room in an even number of steps I win.

I realize that sounds stupid.

Anyway, one of my work games involves keeping a wrong number on the phone for as long as possible. I generally like to set a goal of 5 minutes to start with, and If I can get to 5 minutes by the end of the day, I win. If I can do it before lunch I’m super awesome, and if I exceed my goal before the end of the day I am the champion of the whole world. It’s also fun when you know someone really doesn’t want to be on the phone but can’t figure out how to end the conversation in a polite way. I once managed to keep a person on the phone for twenty minutes until they finally yelled “I’M SORRY I REALLY HAVE TO GO DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT”. I think it’s the building frustration you can hear in the person’s voice, that fine line of civility they’re trying to maintain that makes it so enjoyable.

Periodically I like to stand up and give my manager progress updates…

Me:“Hey boss! I got halfway to my goal with that call!” or “OH man, I was 30 seconds away from my goal that time…”

Boss: You applied someone?

Me: No, I kept that wrong number call going for 4 minutes and 30 seconds!

Boss: … You realize that has absolutely nothing to do with your ACTUAL goals, right?

Me: Yes it does.

Boss: Um, no… not really.

Me: It does in my reality.

Boss: *sigh*

As you can probably tell, I do my best to torment my boss every day. Just the other day, the following conversation happened:

Boss: Hey, you know it’s 4:00, right?

Me: Technically it’s 3:58.

Boss: Well close enough. Shouldn’t you be going to lunch?

Me: IS THAT A FAT JOKE?

I also quite enjoy letting my boss catch me doing something I’m not supposed to be doing. Sometimes I’ll try to convince him otherwise, other times I just like to argue until he gives up. For instance, I was eating banana chips at my desk today when my boss walked by. Instead of trying to hide them like everyone else, I held up the bag and asked if he wanted one.

Boss: I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be eating those at your desk.

Me: We’re allowed to have hard candy.

Boss: But those are banana chips…

Me: Exactly, nature’s hard candy!

Boss: Well… *sigh* Never mind.

I’m fairly certain I’m his favorite employee.



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