Allow me to preface this by saying:
If you’re reading this and you get angry because you think I’m talking about you specifically…
Don’t flatter yourself. Chances are I’m not but it sounds like you have a guilty conscience so you might want to pay attention.
I do NOT understand people that walk around carrying grudges against other people. Sure, there are people that have hurt me and I don’t exactly want to be around them, but I can be civil when necessary.
It’s one thing to learn from a bad experience and want to protect yourself from being hurt in the future. It’s another thing entirely to then turn around and do everything you can to make another person’s life miserable. What does that solve? I can tell you this much for sure, it makes you look like a sad, bitter person and it’s NOT attractive.
When you insist upon holding a grudge against someone, you’re heaping a heavy burden upon yourself that you then get to carry around. It takes a LOT of energy to hate someone in that way. I mean, think about it. I’m sure we all know someone that has allowed him or herself to be consumed by bitterness toward other people. Doesn’t that person look tired? Of course she does, because she likely is!
I don’t know about anyone else, but I prefer to worry more about my actions than those of other people. I’m the only person I can control so it makes sense to me. For instance, I couldn’t stop an ex-boyfriend from cheating on me, but I could absolutely control my reaction…and yes, it was painful to deal with and it took quite some time to get over. I grew as a person as a result of that experience and while I wouldn’t be ecstatic to see him again, I could handle it if I ran into him in a gas station. I’d probably even say hello.
I won’t lie, I’ve definitely held grudges against people in the past. It’s actually an easy habit to fall into. I worked hard to let those grudges go over the years and I feel so much better now. I guess that’s why, when I know someone is holding a grudge it makes me feel sorry for him or her.
Just think about it. All of that energy that’s being consumed to fuel your hatred of someone else? You could get rid of your hateful feelings and use that energy for something else. All of those friends that have disappeared? If you aren’t constantly talking about how much you can’t stand someone else they might actually come back.
I suppose what I’m trying to say here is just live and let live, people. We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got. Forgive those that have wronged you, forget your anger and move on.