because behaving is boring

Category Archives: Soapbox

Opinions are like assholes… Everyone is one!

…Wait, that’s not right.

Except, in some cases, maybe it is. Like maybe in the case of my Facebook newsfeed lately.

If you haven’t heard, Governor Mike Pence signed a bill recently that caused a bit of a stir. Feel free to check out this article in the Indianapolis Star.

…but this is not going to be about my opinion about the bill. I have already mentioned that I think it’s a bit unnecessary and dealing with it was a waste of taxpayer money. After all, our schools are a mess, the crime rate in Indy is insane, and there’s an honest-to-God HIV outbreak in southern Indiana. So, a few more pressing matters that should get attention, I think.

No, this is about the reaction it’s getting. Maybe it’s because I live here, but my newsfeed is full of people absolutely flipping their shit over this. You have the supporters sharing anything and everything they can find that backs their opinion,  and the other side is busy commenting and screaming at them for being bigots.

Then you have the people that don’t care. They don’t care so much that they spend some time seeking out articles that explain why this whole thing is a total non-issue. And because they care so very little, they make sure to share them on Facebook, making sure to type something like “Educate yourself!” I’m assuming that all of this is rather taxing on these people, because it must be a tremendous effort to not even care one little bit.

Ok, that was laying it on thick, even for me…

My point to all of this is that we all get to have an opinion. Every single one of us.

Some people will research for days.

Some people will skim a few articles.

Some people will read headlines, then take a look at what their friends have to say.

But no one gets to have a say over how other people form their opinions, just like no one gets to say someone is uneducated because they didn’t reach the same conclusion as you.

That doesn’t seem the least bit disrespectful? I have an idea, next time you want to say, “Educate yourself”, why don’t you just look the person in the eye, muster up the most condiscending tone you can take, and say, “Well aren’t you just a stupid little twat?”

Because that’s how it sounds.

And in the interest of full disclosure, I am mostly annoyed by this because someone actually said to me, “Why don’t you actually, you know, read the bill before you get mad about it. You just don’t understand it.”

Oh really?

I took a look at it. I don’t typically let my knee-jerk reaction to something become my official stance. But you know what else I’ve read?

Salesforce Won’t Travel to Indiana over controversial bill

NCAA Releases Statement Over Bill

GenCon Threatens to Move Convention if Bill is Signed

So yeah, I’m going to go ahead and get my panties in a wad over the fact that our state’s tourism revenue may take a serious hit. Another Super Bowl? Probably unlikely.

And yes, I will be a little more mindful of where I spend my money from now on. And I will probably be more likely to visit a business if it displays an Open for Service sticker in the window.

But what do I know? I probably didn’t even read this post.

Who knew becoming a mom opened you up for so much judgement? Not this girl.

Formula vs breastfeeding, co-sleep vs cry-it-out, stay at home vs go to work… All decisions that you make as a mother and all, apparently, open to judgement from only everyone.

It’s ridiculous.

I saw this on Facebook last week: - I hear you. Raising kids and running a house keep me busy, too. I also have this little gig on the side called a full time job.

And then I saw what Matt Walsh wrote about his wife, who is a stay at home mom:

The people who completely immerse themselves in the tiring, thankless, profoundly important job of raising children ought to be put on a pedestal. We ought to revere them and admire them like we admire rocket scientists and war heroes. These women are doing something beautiful and complicated and challenging and terrifying and painful and joyous and essential. Whatever they are doing, they ARE doing something, and our civilization DEPENDS on them doing it well. Who else can say such a thing? What other job carries with it such consequences?

And you know what? They’re both a bit ridiculous.

I mean, kudos to Matt Walsh for sticking up for his wife. I will admit that I LOVED his post when I first read it. Then I read it again, and again. He sounds a little…frenzied…in a couple of parts. Like he came straight home from that coffee shop and sat down at his computer to TELL. THOSE. BITCHES. WHAT’S. UP.

What completely baffles me about this whole thing is…Just why is everyone competing so furiously to have a harder life? I mean, seriously… I hear working moms say things like, “Well I have to work all day and then I have to come home and cook dinner.” or, “Well my house would be cleaner but I actually have to work…”

And then there are the stay at home moms that come back with things like, “Well I haven’t showered in three weeks!” and, “I don’t remember the last time I pooped by myself…”


Being a mom is hard. Period. Why don’t we all agree to stop competing for the title of shittiest life (uh, and biggest martyr) and actually be supportive of the other moms around us? And even better, maybe we should all remember that the parenting decisions made by other moms are actually none of our business and therefor not for us to comment on?

In the words of a good friend of mine (who happens to be a working mother, if that matters):

“Why do some moms have to be bitches?

Can’t we all just agree that being moms is a really hard job?”
And she’s right. There’s no reason to be so incredibly shitty to other mothers. We all have it rough on occasion BUT we also get to experience one of the most amazing journeys a human being can take.

When MTV got sick of your raunchy “Hey look, a hot blond with no brains and gas!” performance on Singled Out, you should have just dropped off of the radar. Unfortunately you went on to do a couple of tv shows, a few movies, and a lot of stuff for Playboy. Still you really didn’t find what I would consider legitimate fame… until your child was diagnosed with Autism. I think looking for someone to blame is a perfectly natural initial response when you get such potentially devastating news…But most people eventually get through that phase of grief. Not you! You found someone to blame, but that wasn’t good enough. You wanted everyone else to join your crusade against the evil villains.

Who are these villains?


Disease-preventing, life saving vaccines and the people that administer them.

Bad modern medicine! Bad doctors! How dare you virtually eliminate polio, small pox, whooping cough…We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!

You were so mad you wrote a book (because Jen-X: Jenny McCarthy’s Open Book just wasn’t enough of your literary genius) about your “expert” opinions. I’ve never read it, but since you’ve had no medical training what-so-ever I would assume it goes something like this:

All of the babies lived in magical fairy land until one day the EVIL DOCTOR came to visit with his EVIL NEEDLES  full of EVIL DEATH SYRUP.  He stabbed the babies with his EVIL NEEDLES and suddenly the babies were Autistic. Well shit.

You went on any talk show that would take you, with this “OH, look how grown up I am now that I hate vaccines! No more farting on MTV or vajazzling my hoo ha for Playboy, I’m serious business!” attitude, wearing pantsuits and shit. The thing is, you just kept going…like, you’re still going.

And now The View has hired you. Like the American public really needs to be exposed to your batshit crazy rants against vaccines for an hour each weekday.

Not that I will be watching…but I certainly hope this is an extremely short-lived position for you.

                                                                                                                                                       Your friend*,


*No, not really


Dear everyone else:

Think before you take anything Jenny McCarthy has to say seriously. Do you really want medical and childcare advise from this person?:

I rest my case.

*This post is in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge.*


Please take a minute to watch this video. The comments made by members of the Republican party recently are disturbing, to say the least.

Sorry, the video doesn’t seem to want to stay in the post for some reason. Here’s the link… Let me know if you have any trouble viewing it!

Hey guys! Did y’all hear about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s decision to fly flags at half-staff to honor Whitney Houston?


Ok, first of all Mr. Man With Two Girly Names… Let’s remember who (and what) we’re honoring:

What we have here, boys and girls, is a crackhead. Sure, she had millions of dollars and a pretty singing voice, but she was a crackhead.

Ok, maybe I’m not being fair, so here’s a nice picture of her after a team of makeup and hair artists worked for a few hours to make her appear sober:

Here’s how I imagine that photo shoot went:

Photographer: Whitney, please sit still… Oh HELL, you’re sweating through your makeup again. MAKEUP!

Whitney: Uh, uh…Are we done? I…uh…need to go to the bathroom.

Photographer: NO. Hold still so she can touch up your makeup, ok? Oh damn, now your weave is all jacked up.

Whitney: *scratch scratch* Please can I go to the bathroom? I need my drugs…I MEAN, I have to pee.

Photographer: I said no. Now let’s fix your hair…Oh forget it. Just prop your head up on your hand to hold it in place… I don’t have time for this shit. Ok, now smile pretty!

Whitney: Um, but…when do I get to…um…pee?

Photographer: As soon as I get a decent shot.



I don’t know this for sure, but I think this photograph was taken immediately after that photo shoot. She finally got to pee.

So here’s the thing. There is NO WAY that the flag of this nation should be flown at half staff in honor of this person. NO WAY. That is something we do to honor fallen soldiers, not pop stars that overdosed and fell into a bathtub.

Let’s try and have some perspective here, people.


And she ruined our National Anthem.



(I am not heartless. I feel very sad for her family’s loss and I’m sure lots of people loved her dearly. I DO think the situation is very sad. OK? So please no hate mail.)

Last night, the Senate here in the great state of Indiana passed Right to Work. I know a lot of people out there probably thought “Hey! I can support that!” because who doesn’t want the right to work? Makes sense, right?

But it doesn’t. At all.

See, we all already have the “right to work”. We also currently have the right to enjoy things like mandatory break and lunch times, high safety and health standards,  fair wages… I mean, I don’t know anyone working in a sweatshop for $.13 an hour, do you?

No, because we don’t live in China.

Um, unless you actually do live in China. In that case I’m sorry.

There are a lot of people that support Right to Work and I honestly don’t think they understand the consequences we will ALL face if it passes the House.  These are typically the same people that use inflammatory, generalizing language when describing the horribly evil and awful unions.

I don’t know if people just don’t bother to read before forming opinions or what… Did you know that everyone here in the good ol’ US of A (um, those of us that bother to work for a living, anyway) benefits from unions?

I don’t know about everyone else, but I’d prefer to keep making what I already do, or perhaps get a raise. I certainly don’t want to end up making less… And I really like the fact that around 10:00 each morning I can get up from my desk for 15 minutes to get a coffee.

I really, really want every single one of you to go to this page and read what it says. Take some time to think about it. If you still disagree with me, that’s fine. I value freedom of speech just as much as I value my good working conditions.

If you’d prefer a more condensed version of the information, go here.


On the way to work the other morning, I listened to a politically-themed show on NPR.

I need to stop doing that because I’m sure it isn’t good for my blood pressure.

Anyway, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. We’re in the midst of a little (sarcasm) financial trouble here and the show was covering the continuing debate about gay marriage.

Why are we still arguing about this?!

I would like to know how it isn’t discrimination to say that same-sex couples can’t marry. And how is that not a violation of their rights? Ridiculous.

The most mind-blowing thing about all of this, to me, is just how blatantly hypocritical our dear ol’ government is being.

Prayer isn’t allowed in schools, they’re talking about taking “In God we trust” off of our money, and the Ten Commandments can’t be displayed on the courthouse lawn. Why? Separation of church and state.

Same-sex couples can’t get married. Why? Because the Bible defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Dear government:



Seriously, if you’re against gay marriage, guess what. You don’t have to go to a gay wedding. You don’t have to befriend any gay couples and you don’t have to like it. What you really need to do is 1.) Get over yourself, 2.) Stop pointing your judgy finger, it’s not your job, and 3.) Take notes when reading the part in the Bible that mentions loving your neighbor.

Allowing gay couples to marry (and *gasp* even adopt children) probably won’t have a single impact on your life if you don’t let it.

As far as making it legal, it’s the right thing to do if we’re going to stand behind our country’s decision to keep religion out of politics AND honor the fact that we are supposed to be a nation of freedoms. Religious, political, expression and otherwise.

How about we stop arguing about things that truthfully aren’t that pressing and get serious about the nation’s debt troubles? Because if we end up in another depression, I don’t think people will be standing in bread lines saying “Well hey, at least gay people can’t get married!”

**Just so we’re all clear, I’m not mocking religion in any way. I absolutely believe in God and I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression. I’m also not saying I support gay marriage, necessarily. I just don’t think it’s fair to make it illegal because some people think it’s wrong.

Don’t agree? Think I’m an idiot? Send your hate mail to ashleemaeblog @ or leave me a comment!

You may also email me or comment if you think I’m brilliant!


…Are stupid.

Allow me to preface this by saying:

If you’re reading this and you get angry because you think I’m talking about you specifically…

Don’t flatter yourself. Chances are I’m not but it sounds like you have a guilty conscience so you might want to pay attention.

I do NOT understand people that walk around carrying grudges against other people. Sure, there are people that have hurt me and I don’t exactly want to be around them, but I can be civil when necessary.

It’s one thing to learn from a bad experience and want to protect yourself from being hurt in the future. It’s another thing entirely to then turn around and do everything you can to make another person’s life miserable.  What does that solve? I can tell you this much for sure, it makes you look like a sad, bitter person and it’s NOT attractive.

When you insist upon holding a grudge against someone, you’re heaping a heavy burden upon yourself that you then get to carry around. It takes a LOT of energy to hate someone in that way. I mean, think about it. I’m sure we all know someone that has allowed him or herself to be consumed by bitterness toward other people. Doesn’t that person look tired? Of course she does, because she likely is!

I don’t know about anyone else, but I prefer to worry more about my actions than those of other people. I’m the only person I can control so it makes sense to me. For instance, I couldn’t stop an ex-boyfriend from cheating on me, but I could absolutely control my reaction…and yes, it was painful to deal with and it took quite some time to get over. I grew as a person as a result of that experience and while I wouldn’t be ecstatic to see him again, I could handle it if I ran into him in a gas station. I’d probably even say hello.

I won’t lie, I’ve definitely held grudges against people in the past. It’s actually an easy habit to fall into. I worked hard to let those grudges go over the years and I feel so much better now. I guess that’s why, when I know someone is holding a grudge it makes me feel sorry for him or her.

Just think about it. All of that energy that’s being consumed to fuel your hatred of someone else? You could get rid of your hateful feelings and use that energy for something else. All of those friends that have disappeared? If you aren’t constantly talking about how much you can’t stand someone else they might actually come back.

I suppose what I’m trying to say here is just live and let live, people. We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got. Forgive those that have wronged you, forget your anger and move on.

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