because behaving is boring

Monthly Archives: August 2013

Last night I started trying to get O to bed around 7:00 and he just wasn’t having it. I knew he was sleepy, but he’s also got another tooth trying to bust through. Add to that some wicked gas (from what, I don’t know) and you get a pretty grumpy boy.

So there I was, feeling frustrated because nothing seemed to be comforting my sweet boy and starting to get pretty tired and grumpy myself… but at one point he seemed to finally be sleeping for real. I plopped down on the couch and opened my Twitter app.

I noticed a conversation going on between Allie from Hyperbole and a Half and The Bloggess about having body parts removed. I thought, “Hey, I had something removed… maybe I can be one of the cool kids too!”

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Imagine my surprise when this happened:

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And then this happened:

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I remembered that I had a pic of me holding Fred that never got posted because I look like a creep… But I thought, “Oh, what the hell!” and attempted to tweet it. Of course my Twitter app would pick that moment to refuse to work.

That’s how the creepy picture of me holding my tumor ended up on Instagram.

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I’m sorry, Instagram.

Finally I was able to get the picture on Twitter. Just as I finished the Tweet, O woke up again. I abandoned my phone on the couch and headed up the stairs to my grumpy baby. While I rocked I could hear my phone just blowing up… I told myself that I really needed to unsubscribe from all of those damned email lists because the amount of junk I get is astounding.

When O was asleep (again) I went down to check my phone. And then I almost died.

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HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS.

What followed was an insane amount of tweets and replies and I was trying so hard to keep up that I thought my thumbs might fall off. I just could not believe the enormous response… and I was so touched and humbled by all of the kind things that complete strangers were saying that I almost cried right in the middle of all of it.

When The BF came home…my dear, internet-phobe BF that would sooner eat mountain oysters than sign up for Twitter… I must have looked like a puppy, because I was practically vibrating with excitement. What came out of my mouth probably sounded a lot like this:

“OHMYGAAAAAHHHHHHHITWEETEDAPICOFMYTUMORTOTHEBLOGGESSANDSHESAIDIWAS

COOLANDNOWTHEWHOLEINTERNETTHINKSI’MAWESOMEFORHAVINGATUMORINABUCKET!”

At that moment, it occurred to me that I should check my blog stats…and I almost died again.

“THEWHOLEINTERNETISREADINGMYBLOG!”

The BF, bless his heart, was excited for me…even though he doesn’t really get into the internet. To really illustrate my excitement, I ran to the bookshelf and grabbed my copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and then shook it at him.

He really puts up with a lot.

At any rate, with all of the excitement plus my grumpy, teething baby…I didn’t sleep much last night. For once, I really didn’t care…because who else can say that their giant fibroid was Twitter-famous for a night?

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I thought about calling this post “Slutty Chicken” because, you know, it’s really easy

Well I laughed.

Anyway, it really is just about the easiest chicken recipe ever.

Gather the following:

Boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Mayo OR Miracle Whip

Bread crumbs (I use a mixture of Italian crumbs and panko for this)

Parmesan cheese (the kind in the green can is a-ok for this one!)

Salt and pepper

Ok, now pay attention. Preheat your oven to 375. I like to toast my breadcrumbs in a pan first, but that is entirely optional. I think it makes for a crunchier topping in the end. To toast your crumbs, just heat a tiny amount of oil in a pan over medium. When it’s hot, add crumbs and keep them moving until they’re golden. Take the crumbs off of the heat and let ’em cool, then add parmesan cheese.

Pat chicken breasts with a paper towel. Salt and pepper them if you like, then smear some mayo on one side. Don’t go too crazy… maybe a tablespoon each.

Place chicken mayo side down in bread crumb mixture. Press to make sure the crumbs stick, then place chicken (mayo and crumbs up this time) in a baking dish. I like to spray the dish with a little Pam first.

Bake chicken for 30-40 minutes, or until a meat thermometer inserted into the thickest part says at least 160 degrees (though some would say it should be higher than that). If the bread crumbs don’t look crunchy enough you could always kick the broiler on low for a few minutes, but make sure to keep the door open and watch carefully.

That’s all you do! It’s super easy and tasty. Perfect for a quick week night dinner.

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I served it with steamed veggies and potatoes gratin.

Winner, winner (easy!) chicken dinner!

Totally unrelated but…

O was playing with a toy for the first time today.

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He picked up the circle, so I asked him to put the purple circle in the turtle.

He looked at me, then at the circle, and finally studied the turtle for a moment. He then removed the orange top, placed the circle in the turtle, and gave me a huge smile.

Nicely played, child of mine.


Marcy of Live Life Successfully (go check her out!) has nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award! Thank you, Marcy!

There are a lot of exclamation points up there. Sheesh.

Ok, so here’s how the Versatile Blogger Award works:

1. Display the award certificate. (Check!)

2. Announce your award with a post. Thank the blogger who nominated you. (Double Check!)

3. Nominate 15 bloggers. (Check, check, check, check…uh, you get the idea.)

4. Link to your nominees and let them know they’ve been nominated.

5. Include 7 interesting things about yourself in the post.

The blogs I would like to nominate are as follows:

1.  A Mix of 6

2.  Adventures of Sweet Monday

3.  A Mama With Flavor

4.  Mama’s High Strung

5.  Mustard Seed Mommy

6.  Forever Fitting In

7.  Hello Stripes

8.  Lady Blogger

9.  Life – Where’s the Handbook?

10. Me and My Mini Me

11. My Thoughts – Uninterrupted

12. The Debt Princess

13. Charming Little Bee

14. All She Cooks

15. Rosel’s Mom Diary

Interesting things about me!

1. I just had a three pound tumor removed from my uterus…Six months after having a baby removed from my uterus. I said uterus a lot. Uterus.

2. I still (yes, still) have two baby teeth.

3. I was a first soprano in high school. Prrrrrrrroooooobably not so much now. I haven’t tried to hit notes like that in a very long time and I don’t think I will be attempting to any time soon. You’re welcome.

4. I have a beautiful Alvarez acoustic guitar that my parents got me one year for Christmas. I took lessons from a guy that had an alcohol problem (I had to move beer bottles off of his coffee table for my Saturday morning lessons) and I vaguely remember a few songs but I probably can’t play anything all the way through anymore. I also have a pink electric bass that I bought off a friend when I was drunk. I have no idea how to play the bass.

5. As a little girl, I played with He-Man figures and my trusty Tonka dump truck in favor of Barbie dolls. Oh sure, I had Barbies…But lots of them ended up with buzz cuts or without heads.

6. Farts are, and always will be, hilarious. O let a loud one loose the other night (I heard it over the monitor) and I was trying to be quiet but I laughed so hard that the bed shook and woke the BF up. I actually had to get up and go to the bathroom because I was in danger of peeing in the bed…Navigating the stairs while snorting and trying to keep my legs crossed was a little difficult.

7. I have been told I look like: Catherine Zeta Jones (Hooray!), Rachael Ray (Eh…), Kelly Clarkson (Eh…), Mila Kunis (Hooray!), Zooey Deschanel (I don’t even see that one), and a handful of other celebrities. I’m not sure I believe any of them, but whatevs.

Thanks again to the lovely Marcy of Live Life Successfully for the nomination!

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers


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Hmmmmm…

Friday

7:00 am: Wake up, look at monitor and see O standing in his crib waving at the camera and saying, “Maamaamaa”. I’ve never been a morning person, and even though 7:00am (or earlier) is now my standard wake-up time, I still wake up all fuzzy-headed. The temptation to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep is strong. Still,  I go in and get him… and of course he gives me a huge smile and starts clapping when I walk in the room so I suddenly don’t mind being up.

7:05 am: First diaper change of the day. Looks like the prunes O ate the day before did their job. Sheeeeeeeewie! Toss diaper in the trash, make a pot of coffee, and run some dish water. I turn on the news and let O run wild around the living room for a while like a tiny but destructive tornado. Say “No” approximately one hundred million times. Get into a handfull of tickle fights… Surprise! I win! BF comes down for a cup of coffee and heads off to work.

7:30 am: Time for breakfast! Apples, bananas, and oatmeal for O, a cup of coffee for mama. BF stops back in for another cup of coffee before heading off to start his day. O and I play with flash cards while he’s chowing down.

8:10 am: A morning bath has become necessary after O decided to smear his breakfast on the high chair tray and rub his face in it. He also decided that apples, bananas and oatmeal would make a fantastic hair treatment, so he rubbed it all over his head. I let him make more of a mess in the high chair while I run bath water. He’s got so much breakfast in his hair that I actually have to lather, rinse, and repeat. He really enjoys bath time so I let him splash a play for a few minutes while we (I) sing the alphabet song. image 8:30 am: O is enjoying the after-bath nakedness immensely, so I let him hang out in the buff…but after a while I feel like I’m playing with fire, so on with a diaper and onesie. Surprisingly, he doesn’t fuss much. I decide to tempt fate and put him in the bouncy seat while I do some dishes and tidy up the kitchen… He doesn’t seem to mind, so I get some laundry sorted and throw a load in while he’s playing. We (I) sing songs while I work so he doesn’t feel like I’m ignoring him.

9:45 am: O is showing signs of being hungry and sleepy, so I make a bottle and get him settled. I only hold him to give him a bottle now at bedtime…any other time he will take care of that himself, thankyouverymuch. Take this opportunity to pee since I haven’t done that yet this morning. When he’s done eating, he seems to need some help falling asleep. I cave and bounce him for a few minutes while I stand in the living room and watch the last of the news.

10:20 am: O is sound asleep. Put laundry in the dryer and throw another load in the washer. Clean up bathroom and laundry room (nothing major, just wipe down sinks, toilet, bathtub and shower). Put high chair tray in hot, soapy water to soak. Head upstairs to tidy up the bedrooms. 12:00 pm: I’m starving, and O is STILL sleeping (he’s teething, so sometimes his naps are a little longer), so I decide to make myself some lunch. I get distracted by the high chair tray I forgot about so I go ahead and scrub that clean. I pull the laundry out of the dryer and get another load started while I’m at it. I start to fold the laundry when I remember that I meant to have lunch.

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12:30: I make myself a quick salad (arugula, beets, a sprinkle of parmesan, and a little ranch dressing with a bottle of water to drink). I get two bites in before O wakes up. Of course. When I pick him up it becomes apparent that those prunes didn’t completely leave his system this morning. Smelly diaper change in the middle of lunch…Why not?

12:40: Dispose of butt bomb and wash my hands. I decide to try eating with O on my lap and by some miracle he cooperates. After I eat, we have another round of chase the baby around the living room while I attempt to fold laundry. O decides to help by pulling all of the laundry out of the chair and onto the floor. This keeps him occupied, so I play along by putting the clothes back into the chair so he can pull them out again. I use this opportunity to teach him about colors. “See that shirt of Mama’s that you’re dragging across the floor? That’s a pink shirt. Oh, and that sock you’re chewing on? Why, that’s white…” O laundry 2:30 pm: O is suddenly STARVINGRIGHTNOW so I make him a bottle. He takes his sweet time eating, then starts to act sleepy. Bouncing doesn’t seem to work so I take him upstairs to rock him in his bedroom.

3:15 pm: O is asleep in his crib. I go downstairs to work on more laundry and fold, fold, fold. While I’m at it, I pick up the living room. Because I apparently love doing the same thing a hundred times a day.

4:45 pm: O is awake and HANGRY. Retrieve the little chomper from his crib, change his (thankfully not poopy) diaper and hook him up with a bottle. Hey, did I mention I have MORE laundry to fold? This time O is occupied, so I get a lot done while he downs his bottle. We count the clothes as I fold. I may or may not do a pretty crappy Sesame Street Count Dracula impression while we fold and count. “ONE t-shirt, AH-AH-AAAAHHHH…”

6:00 Holy Mother, the kid pooped again. Change diaper, get him out if his onesie and into his high chair. Time for some veggies!

6:15 pm: BF comes home with formula, diapers, and a hand-held bug zapper. He proceeds to then wander about the house zapping flies, completely distracting O from his dinner.

6:45 pm: The boy is finally done eating. I clean him up and wipe down the high chair and tray. He goes in the play yard for a minute while I take a couple of baskets of clean clothes upstairs. By the time I get back down (maybe a minute later), he’s tired of being in there and letting me know about it. I let him out and he immediately heads over to bang on the tv screen. We start the “you know you aren’t allowed to do that” dance, where I pick him up and deposit him away from the tv, and he goes right back to it. This goes in for a while, then The BF comes in and distracts O for a bit.

7:30 pm: Bedtime is near, and you can tell O is ready. I make the little grump a bottle and he sits on the BF’s lap while he eats. He gets a new diaper, then he goes with the BF for a quick evening ranger ride around the property. {Bedtime usually consists of a bath (about every other night or so since his skin tends to be a bit sensitive), a bottle, and rocking in his room while I sing songs that I’ve customized with his name. Occasionally, though, the BF likes to take him on ‘nature drives’.} While they’re gone, I put the laundry away and put dinner in the oven. Typically I start making dinner around 5, but we have leftover homemade chicken alfredo pizza (um, with bacon) so I don’t have to mess with it tonight. Hooray!

8:10 pm: The BF is back, and O is sound asleep. BF puts O in his crib, then comes down to eat. I do more dishes (bottles and dinner plates) and make a gallon of iced tea while talking to the BF. After I’ve got the kitchen cleaned up he heads off to do some more work. The man is always working, seriously.

9:00 pm: I sit down and eat a piece of pizza, then I decide I need ice cream. I flip through the guide on the tv and find that a show I like comes on at

10:00 (Tripping Out with Allie and Georgia… cutest show ever) so I switch to that channel to make sure I don’t miss it.

10:15 pm: The BF is still in his office working on something and I’m only 15 minutes into my show but…I just can’t keep my eyes open. I make my way through the house, turning off lights and stuff…Then I realize that I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth. I make it back to the bathroom in the dark, managing to only run into one wall, brush the ol’ chompers, and head upstairs to bed.

Bed

10:30 pm: I’m suddenly wide awake as soon as my head hits the pillow…So I bust out my phone and fool around on Facebook and Twitter for a bit. Thought Catalog  has tweeted links to some interesting articles, so I read those.

10:45 pm: Ok, now I’m back to being sleepy. I check the boy on the monitor and he hasn’t moved…so I sit there and stare until he fidgets just a little so I know he’s ok. Sure, I could get up and go check on him, but sometimes just breathing near his doorway wakes him up and then it’s TIME TO PLAY, MAMA! Um, no. I’ll just lay here and squint at the monitor, thanks.

Sometime around 11:00 pm: ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…   So there you have it. An honest answer to the question I always get when I tell people I’m a stay at home mom: “What do you do all day?!” No, I don’t get bored…And no, I don’t just ‘sit on my ass all day’ as some people would suggest. In fact, I don’t generally stop moving until I flop down on the couch some time after the sun goes down.

I did not document all of the times I went to the bathroom (so don’t worry, I do pee and poop during the day), but just assume that any time O naps or is contained or is being distracted by someone else I take the opportunity to go pee. Even if I don’t have to, I try.

What? You just never know when you’ll get the opportunity again.

I actually chose a pretty light day, as far as cleaning goes… Typically I pick a room and clean it top to bottom (as best I can with a 9 month old) each day…And I usually try to do a load of laundry a day to avoid days like this. I wasn’t home much last week, though, so a day of laundry catch-up was necessary!

What does your day look like? Do you stay home or do you go to work?


Me (7:00 am): Ugh, please don’t turn it to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I just want to shove a mystery mousekatool up Mickey’s…well, it’s annoying.

The BF: Well, Squidbillies is on… That’s educational…

Me: That’s fine. I’ll make coffee.

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Me: He smells a little like poop…

BF: I just changed him a second ago.

Me: Yeah, I know, but I’m catching a whiff of butt mud.

BF: Probably a fart.

Me: Maybe. Or maybe he’s pinched off a little nugget that’s just hiding in there.

(Turns out, it was just a fart.)

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Me: I hate when I clip my nails but I can’t file them, so I end up jabbing the delicate inside of my nose when I go for a good booger.

BF: …

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Me: So Ricki Lake comes on after the news… It was on while I was getting O ready to run some errands this morning, and the topic had something to do with people that won the lottery.

Mom: *playing with O*

Me: Anyway, they were talking about all of the hardships that come with winning all of that money and I could totally identify with their pain.

Mom: *Still playing with O and not even KIND OF listening to me*

Me: You know, as a lottery winner myself…

Mom: Uh huh.

Me: What? Winning $5.00 on a free scratch-off totally counts.

Mom: I GOT YOUR TOES!

Me: Never mind.

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O: MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGUH!

Me: Yes, my child?

O: AAAAAAAAARGUH BABAAAAAB

Me: Um, ok.

O: DID DID DID DID DID DID DID!

Me: Already have to have the last word, huh?

O: SHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAABAAAABABABA

 

 


Sometimes, I just need something spicy and comforting. When I worked in the big city, I would talk a coworker into going to Mudbugs with me for some gumbo, or court bouillon, or crawfish casserole, or red beans and rice, or…ok, you get the point. Oh, how I loved that little restaurant and their delicious Cajun food.

I no longer work in the big city. I rarely ever go to the big city. Hell, a big outing for me is going to the grocery store these days.

I had pinned a recipe for sausage and shrimp jambalaya some time ago, and I thought the unseasonably cool weather last week was perfect for a nice big bowl of that yummy deliciousness. I took myself to the grocery store and set out to make some jambalaya.

The original recipe is here, and I used that as a guide. I made mine in a stock pot (who doesn’t love a one-pot meal?) on the stove rather than baked in a casserole. I used the entire box (32oz) of chicken stock and probably a cup of tomato juice. I also used hot breakfast sausage instead of the suggested variety, and pre-cooked, cleaned shrimp that I tossed in at the last minute. I only put shrimp in there for the BF since I don’t eat that nasty shit.

Holy moly, this stuff was good!

 

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Next time I might even throw some corn in there, and maybe even some fresh okra.

Bonus: This stuff gets better after it’s spent a night or two in the fridge!


So it was my intention all along to make my own baby food…I just didn’t want to be giving my boy a bunch of processed junk right off of the bat. Of course, I also wanted to breast feed for the entire first year.

Well, sometimes even the best intentions just don’t pan out.

My surgery kind of screwed up my plans for both breastfeeding (I dried up) and making O’s baby food. We used a couple of different brands of store-bought baby food after I thoroughly read the labels and decided that they would be ok, but once I was able to get out and start grocery shopping again I got serious about some baby food.

I decided to start off with a couple of things I know he likes: Sweet potatoes and carrots. I also bought a bunch of kale to add something new to his diet.

DISCLAIMER:

Baby must be at least 9 months old for cooked greens, 10 months old for finely chopped raw greens.

The FDA cautions that nitrates in kale, and other vegetables, could be dangerous to your baby before he is 7 months old.

Here is more information about nitrates in baby food fromwww.wholesomebabyfood.com.

 

Here’s how I make baby food…this is not necessarily the only way or the best way, but it’s how I do it. Also? It’s really easy!

For sweet potatoes:

Pre-heat oven to 360 (I know, random) degrees and line a baking sheet with nonstick foil.  Peel and cube your sweet potatoes, then spread them out in one layer on the baking sheet. I sprinkled a little salt over them, but that is entirely optional. Roast for about 40 minutes total, stirring halfway through if necessary. They’re done when you can squish a cube with your fingers…Be careful, because if you decide to taste a cube at this point you may end up eating a lot of them.

I probably could have filled another ice cube tray if I had kept my mitts off of them.

sweet potatoes

Left: Uncooked, Right: Roasted to perfection

Scrape the sweet potatoes into a blender or food processor (I recently acquired my grandma’s food processor). Pulse until you get the consistency you like, then spoon into an ice cube tray. You could also use cake decorating bags fitted with a large round tip (size 1A would work) to pipe the baby food into the ice cube trays.

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Left: The first food processor ever made, Right: Sweet tater cubes!

Cover the ice cube tray or put it into a freezer bag, then the whole thing goes into the freezer. I like to leave them in the tray over night, then pop the cubes into labeled freezer bags when they’re nice and solid. Yep, that’s it!

For the carrots and kale:

Wash your kale thoroughly (or buy pre-washed and give it a quick rinse) and rip the leaves off of the stems. Wash and peel the carrots, then cut into thin discs. Put everything into a steamer and let cook until the greens wilt and the carrots are soft. You could roast the carrots (like the sweet potatoes), but it was easier at the time to do it all in the steamer basket at once. I think I was working on this around 8:00 in the evening and I had been working in the kitchen all day, so I was all for whatever was easiest at that point. Had I planned ahead, I would have roasted the carrots and the sweet potatoes at the same time. Live and learn, y’all.

kale and carrots steaming

My rice cooker/steamer wasn’t big enough so I improvised and used a strainer over a pot of boiling water. Make sure to put a lid on it (I removed the lid to snap a quick pic).

Once everything is nice and soft, spoon it into the food processor and pulse until you get it the way you want it, then spoon into ice cube trays and freeze.

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Kale looks like that when it comes out the other end, too. Just in case you wondered. Smells worse, though.

 

So there you go! It really is that easy to make baby food. I wouldn’t keep it any longer than a couple of months in the freezer, so make sure to write the date (and the contents) on the bags.

 

When you’re ready, just nuke the cubes a few seconds at a time…just until they’re thawed and at room temp. Make sure to stir and check the temp! I like to let it sit on the counter for a few minutes while I get O set up in his high chair. That way, any hot spots should cool down.

I only use one cube of kale at a time, by the way. Kale contains a lot of iron and if you give him too much your baby might not poop for a week!

Once you’ve introduced foods individually (to check for allergies) feel free to try out different combinations. You could make cubes of single veggies and mix them when you’re ready to serve, or you could make combination cubes.

You can also use the food processor to pulse cooked fruit and oatmeal for breakfast cubes. We’re going to start trying meat next, and I haven’t quite decided how I want to do that. Frozen cubes of meat puree seems kind of gross, but I think that will be how I do it.

Do you make your own baby food? What suggestions do you have? Let me know in the comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 



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