because behaving is boring

Monthly Archives: April 2011

Yuck to both.

Seriously, I’m sick of it. Yeah, I love a good storm now and then. Sure, it’s nice when I can listen to rain as I’m falling asleep. But when that’s all the weather wants to do? Uh, no thanks.

This morning I was late to work because we’ve had so much rain they closed one lane of the interstate due to high water. Traffic was backed up all the way to the on ramp and once I actually made it on the interstate some giant douchebag decided to try to occupy the same space I was in. Apparently, he missed the 4,000 signs alerting everyone to the lane closure and was completely taken by surprise when he actually had to merge to the right. It’s a good thing my horn works because he had NO clue I was there. He, of course, flipped me off and shoved himself in front of me. I guess I deserved that because CLEARLY I was the one in the wrong.

I may have returned the gesture. My mom would kill me for saying that because FLIPPING SOMEONE OFF IN THE BIG CITY WILL SURELY GET YOU SHOT.

Of course, once I got to work I had to drive around for a while until I found a parking spot, which made me even more late. Lucky for me someone left and I was able to take that spot, and even luckier for me it was a spot close to my building.

‘Cause, you know, I’m the genius that decided to wear flip-flops today. Don’t worry, inappropriate footwear choices aren’t just a winter thing.

Today has been busy as HELL and I’m about ready to pull my hair out…It doesn’t help that my computer has decided to pick today to be as slow as it possibly can short of just shutting down entirely.

I’m ready to go home.

Only 4 hours and 17 (ish) minutes ’til I can!


I wrote this letter to my lovely coworker after tasting the strawberry champagne jell-o shots she made. So far, there has been no response.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


Maybe the right term would be April Monsoons… Yesterday we got hit with all kinds of rainy stormy weather. The worst of it was last night and even I got a little nervous.

I went to the Not Boyfriend’s because he decided to cook dinner…Right, like I don’t spend every night over there, anyway…BUT I was actually planning on staying home until he mentioned food. Truthfully, I would have likely ended up there regardless because my brother has come down with the flu and I DO NOT want his germs.

**Side note… NB is an awesome cook. Last night we had manicotti stuffed with two kinds of chicken filling. SO good.

Anyway…

We were standing in the kitchen getting our plates ready when the storm started, around 9:30 pm. The kitchen windows were open and we could hear the storm blow in, which was really cool. What WASN’T cool was how strong the wind was getting.

I should probably mention that he and I have both experienced a tornado up close when we were in junior high. It was late at night, right before Mother’s Day. My parents woke my brother and I up and had us come down to the kitchen because our area was under a tornado warning. At some point, we lost power so we were sitting next to the basement door trying to decide if we needed to go downstairs when a tornado went right behind our house and destroyed a modular home that was just down the road. I’ll never forget the way everything went quiet or the sound it made as it went through. If it hadn’t been so dark we would have been able to see it, too. NB’s family wasn’t quite as lucky as we were…Possibly the same tornado demolished their house that night. They all managed to get to the basement in time, thank God, so no one was seriously injured. That same night my old elementary school (that my brother still attended at the time) was also hit, as well as a few other homes in the area.

So, standing in his kitchen listening to the wind become stronger and stronger was making even me incredibly nervous. For anyone that hasn’t heard a tornado, the rednecks that always get interviewed on the news are right. It DOES sound a lot like a freight train chugging down the tracks.

**Side note (again): After the tornado that I mentioned earlier, a couple of news crews showed up at our house wanting interviews. My mom refused because she was still in her pajamas and I tried to explain to her that she’d fit right in with all of the other interviewees…somehow she didn’t agree.

…On with the story.

I was trying to be tough and act like it wasn’t a big deal that the wind was HOWLING, but finally I had to let him know that I was getting a little nervous about the storm. As soon as I said it, he suggested we have dinner in the basement just to be safe (I didn’t even know he HAD a basement until last night, actually). We spend the next minute or so running through the house grabbing things…He put on a pair of work boots and then carried a couple of chairs and a candle down while I got my purse, our dinner, and a few beers. That’s right, we definitely had our priorities in line. I figured if I was going to be sitting in a basement while the house above me got blown away I might as well drink a beer or two.

NB pulled a chest of drawers to an empty spot so we had a makeshift table and cleared away some cobwebs…His house is fairly old and the basement is definitely not finished. Still, you can’t really complain when a tornado might be headed your way. We lost power not long after we got settled, so thank goodness he remembered a candle. Of course, he was assuring me that he had planned the candlelit dinner thing all along.

We stayed in the basement for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. I’ve always liked when the power goes out…I’m not sure why. It was so quiet in the house that we could still hear the storm going on, even from the basement. We had a couple of beers and talked until finally it seemed to quiet down. Happily, there didn’t seem to be any damage to the house or our cars at all. NB fired up the generator and was quite proud of himself for being the only house in the area with power.

The rest of the night was uneventful. We tried to watch a movie but halfway through we both decided sleep was a better idea. By then the power had come back on and the storms seemed to be over. I guess there was another storm around 2:00am but by then I was sound asleep.

This morning I did see some damage on the way to work and I heard about an unconfirmed report of a tornado touching down somewhere in my home town. I’m definitely grateful that NB and I as well as everyone I know (well, as far as I’ve heard, anyway) made it through last night ok.


…but I hate HATE having to be at work during one. As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one appropriate way to enjoy a good storm.

Snuggled up under covers, preferably with someone you like a lot, movie optional.

Seriously, today we’re having some pretty good storms and it’s cold outside. I’m sleepy as can be and yet I’m here at my desk. At work. Not exactly where I want to be.

Thank goodness I’m working early today…so I can leave at 6:15 and spend my evening however I like.

I’m definitely in a pretty great mood… I’d just like to be in my great mood somewhere else. With someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I do quite enjoy my coworkers…Just not in the let’s-snuggle-under -a-blanket-during-a-storm kind of way.

I only have to make it 4 more hours…then I have an hour drive home… So in about 5 hours I’ll be in my sleepy clothes parked on a far more comfy surface than my desk chair.

I don’t really have anything else to say.

OH!

Someone brought champagne jello shots to work today. I’m going to try one.

Ok. That’s really all I had to say.


I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It’s really easy to forget sometimes that I have ovaries…I mean, they ARE kind of hiding and unlike my lungs, stomach or heart…well, I just don’t really use them. Also, unlike my liver I don’t abuse them on a regular basis.

The fact that you help out with a monthly reminder is awesome. I LOVE that on the 17th of every month I get to spend a whole day feeling like I’m being punched in the lady parts by a swarm of angry midgets. This month you’ve gone above and beyond by sending my little reminder a WHOLE DAY early, basically screwing up my whole weekend.

That’s super neat.

So, thanks again for the lovely monthly reminder. I’m going back to my heating pad now.

Love always,

Ashlee


I noticed something today and I wonder if anyone else does this…

When I’m typing a text or tweet (basically anything with a limited number of characters) and I get close to the limit, I type faster. True story… I caught myself doing it last night.

What is that all about? Like if I type super fast I can get it all in before they know I’m over my character limit? Makes no sense.

In other randomness…

I’m a sales rep for a company based here in Indy. People call in, I sell them our product.

Imagine my surprise when our reception desk called me to say there was a person in our lobby that wanted to buy something. I’m not sure what prompted the guy to actually come here rather than call but I was completely unprepared. I’m wearing a sweatshirt and jeans today with flip flops…hardly professional attire. By the time I got to the front desk he had left so I didn’t actually talk to him but… well, it was weird.

Also totally random, but I wish the weather would get just a tad warmer around here…It’s mushroom season and I’m dying to fry some up! For those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s a website with some info. If you’ve never had a fried morel mushroom you’re really missing out. I’ve usually had them with bacon and eggs for breakfast, but the Not Boyfriend has big plans for a fish and mushroom fry.

I can remember spending hours mushroom hunting in the woods behind my mom and dad’s house when I was little. We’d get dressed in jeans, long sleeved flannel shirts, hats and boots (because my mom was worried about ticks so we had to be almost totally covered) and carry bread sacks to hunt for them.  Mom always insisted that we were as quiet as possible because she didn’t want anyone to know if we found them…because then someone else might look in our woods and steal our mushrooms!

I’m not even kidding about that. Mushroom season only happens in the spring around here and it’s pretty short… those things are like gold and I’ve seen people sell them for what you’d probably consider a ridiculous price.  They’re THAT good.


Me: Hey, do you think it would still be prostitution if the hooker sold raffle tickets and had a drawing to determine who would get her services?

Friend: Wait…what?!

Me: You know, ’cause the money is being exchanged for the TICKETS and not for SEX.

Friend: I’m not sure that would work.

Me: But it’s a great idea! They’ve been doing it wrong this whole time… I mean, you can sell an unlimited amount of raffle tickets in a day but there are only so many…uh…services a prostitute could perform in a 24-hour period.

Friend:…

Me: For real, this is a breakthrough for the world’s oldest profession.

Friend:…

Me: Do you think they have a union rep I could call? Ladies of the Night Local 69?



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