because behaving is boring

Category Archives: Parenting

Well guys, I guess it’s time to admit that I am once again out of the running for Mother of the Year. Yes, I know it’s a huge surprise, but I’ve just made too many mistakes to think anyone would nominate me.

Don’t believe me? I submit the following:

I allowed O to practically inhale an entire chocolate bunny on Easter morning. Sure, it was a smallish one, but chocolate for breakfast? That’s a mommy no-no for sure.

Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

I have also given my child donuts, birthday cake, and cookies for breakfast. Not all the time, of course, but with enough frequency to make the Mother of the Year prize out of my reach. But come on, who doesn’t eat leftover birthday cake the day after their birthday?! Or the day after anyone’s birthday, if they send some cake home with you.

Exhibit B.  No, he didn't eat all of it...His was the chocolate piece.

Exhibit B.
No, he didn’t eat all of it…His was the chocolate piece.

And I guess, while we’re talking about food, my kid has had McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Arby’s. He really loves the chicken nuggets. And fries. Once again, only occasionally…But the fact that I have allowed him to consume MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN GOO that has been deep-fried to oblivion probably booted me out of the running.

Exhibit C.  These are actually fish nuggets. Still fried, though.

Exhibit C.
These are actually fish nuggets. Still fried, though.

I also let him play with the sweeper, mostly in hopes that he will accidentally turn it on and scare the crap out of himself. I can’t help it, that’s damned hilarious.

I’ve forgotten to tell him he can get up when he’s in trouble (I refuse to call it time out), only to remember 20 minutes later.

I’ve lied and said we were out of a snack that he asked for because I really wanted to eat the last one.

I don’t let him flush the toilet eleventy billion times.

He really needed (his words) a blueberry breakfast bar but I wouldn’t let him have one because he didn’t eat his lunch.

And then…

This morning, he came in the bathroom when I was brushing my teeth. He wanted to brush his, so I picked up his toothbrush and started to put toothpaste on it.


He wanted to do it himself. In an attempt to avoid a tantrum, I held the toothpaste and brush out to him…But the damage had been done. He turned and ran to the living room, threw himself on a chair, and sobbed for five minutes over the injustice of it all.

“Am I the worst mommy on Earth, buddy?”

He sniffed, rubbed his eyes, and said, “Yes Mommy. I fink so.”

I’ve been clear on my stance on raisins… If you’re new around here, let me catch you up: I hate them. The taste is foul, they stick in your teeth, and they look like rabbit turds. I can’t really think of a single redeeming factor.

My child, however, loves the nasty little things… Give him a little box and he will gladly cram them into his mouth as if they were something actually delicious. He goes through phases… Sometimes he’ll only ask for raisins a couple of times a day, and others he’s a broken record.

“Rasins? Rasins, mama? MAMA. RASINS. I hab it, the rasins? Pease?”

So it was one of those days… And I was trying to get some work done so I didn’t leap up the second he asked for them, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. I found him sitting on the kitchen floor with a bowl full of raisins in front of him, happily stuffing his face.
“Hey, buddy…where’s the box?”

He beamed with pride and said, “I frow it away!”

Rather than find a container for the remaining raisins, I decided to make some bread. Oddly enough, I actually do like cinnamon raisin bread, and I figured I had everything to make it. When it was time for O’s lunch, I took a break from my audio files and gathered the necessary ingredients. Once he was safely contained settled in his high chair, I got to work.


Cinnamon Raisin Quick Bread

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup canola oil

2 large eggs

1 cup milk (I used 2%)

1 cup unsweetened almond milk (this was just an attempt to use up some almond milk that wasn’t my usual brand…feel free to use 2 cups of regular milk.)

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup sugar

2 tablespoons cinnamon  (or to taste, however you like your cinnamon/sugar mixture)

Preheat your oven to 350° and spray two loaf pans with Baker’s Joy.

In a large bowl, combine all dry ingredients (except 1/2 cup of sugar and cinnamon). Add oil, milk, and eggs (I like to measure out the milk, crack the eggs into it, and whisk it all together, but you do you) and stir until all is combined. Add raisins and stir again.

In a seperate bowl, mix cinnamon and sugar.

Scoop a little batter into each loaf pan, then sprinkle some of the cinnamon sugar on top. Keep alternating layers of batter and sugar until batter is gone. Make sure to get equal amounts into the loaf pans. Using a knife, swirl the batter and sugar together. Bake for 60 – 70 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Let cool on a wire rack before serving.


So yes, the term “quick bread” is relative here since it takes a while to bake, but it’s worth it. I didn’t get much almond flavor, and I was sad about that, but the brand of almond milk I got sucked. Seriously, it was like water. Lesson learned!

I have accidentally eaten three pieces already, so I should warn you that it’s pretty irresistible.


I had tentative plans yesterday to meet up with a friend that was in town for a short time.

I knew she would be busy trying to see everyone, but she had some free time during the day. I let her know that I had to go to town, but that O would need to nap first. Then to illustrate my point, I sent a video of The Grouchy One in all his grouchy glory.

Of course he was not in the mood to cooperate, and it was getting later in the morning. I decided to run to the store regardless of his napless status, thinking his grumpiness might be hunger. We grabbed some lunch and ran our errands, then I headed home to put the groceries away before meeting up with my friend. I considered leaving the stuff in the car, but I didn’t want to take a chance that the milk would freeze and explode in my car. Yes, it’s already that cold in Indiana.

Don’t worry, next week it’s supposed to be above 50°. My sinuses hurt just thinking about it.


So of course O would decide that naptime needed to happen omgrightnow when we got home. I put him in his crib and sent my friend a message. She said her kid was napping, too, so no biggie.

I cleaned the house a bit and started working on dinner, and I was surprised to see how much tine had passed when my little stinker woke up at 5:30.

I thought, “I need to message friend and let her know that we won’t make it before 6.”

This is where my mom brain kicked in.

This morning, I opened messenger to send my mom a message. I noticed the previous day’s conversation with my friend and opened it…only to see that I had actually never sent the message after he woke up. I instantly felt like a huge asshole, because I had completely  left her hanging. I was also super pissed because I had really been looking forward to the visit.

I sent her a message and apologized, but I have felt like a humongous douche all day.

I wish I could say this is the first time it’s happened but…

At least once a day I think, “I’ll reply to that text in a second…”, then I put my phone down and completely forget. Sometimes for days.

I have been meaning to call my insurance company now for almost a month, but I never remember until the office is closed for the evening, or on the weekend.

I spent a good hour and a half working on a grocery list the other day. I went through the freezer, fridge, and pantry to determine what we had, then checked the recipes I wanted to try for the week and wrote down what I needed. Then I got to the store and realized the list was still on the kitchen counter.

You don’t even want to know how frequently I say, “That was today?!

I used to have a handle on stuff. In high school, I rarely wrote down assignments…I just remembered what I needed to do. I have an uncanny nack for picking up song lyrics. I can still recite the Greek alphabet after learning it in college, for crying out loud.

Yet, now that I’m a mom I can’t remember to put toilet paper on the grocery list (not that it matters, if it doesn’t make it to the store with me). I forget my point halfway through a story and end up feeling silly for bringing it up in the first place… And I would bet my life savings that there’s a load of clothes in the dryer that I’ve forgotten about.


Well lookie there!

What happened to me? Does this ever go away, or am I doomed to forever be feebly saying, “I’m sorry, I forgot”?

Please tell me I’m not alone in this.

If you are thinking that you might like to take the plunge into parenthood, I want you to sit down an really think about something.

How do you feel about poop? More specifically, someone else’s poop. In your hand.

Because that’s the kind of thing you get to deal with when you become a parent.
If you just said, “Oh Hell no.” in response…

Maybe just get a house plant for now.

We’ve been on the go since Thursday, so I apologize for my lack of posts lately. Summer is a busy time for us, with birthdays and festivals and concerts and fairs… We try to cram as much fun into these few months of sun as possible.

Thursday,  The BF’s mom invited O and I to the pool. He had a blast playing in the sprinklers of the splash pad, and while he played I got to have some grownup conversation with MIL (seriously,  The BF’s Mom is just cumbersome. She will from now on be MIL) and some of The BF’s cousins.


Of course,  what happens when the whitest person you know goes to the pool and forgets to out on sunscreen?


Is there a color whiter than white?

She gets sunburned,  obviously.


On Friday, O and I spent the morning at my mom’s house, then we made a run to town with MIL and The BF’s nephew. As we were walking through the store, MIL pointed to a guy that was checking me out. When he saw that he’d be caught, he just shrugged as if to say he couldn’t help it and walked away. We had a good laugh about it, and Nephew wanted to know what was so funny. Rather than explain, MIL just pointed in a random direction. Apparently,  at a woman in a wheelchair. We got a ten minute lecture on how we shouldn’t make fun of someone that was hurt from Nephew for that one.

Saturday, O and I drove to Lebanon to pick up a dozen donuts I’d ordered for Father’s Day. I’m surprised they made it home, let alone until Sunday.


Yep. That's bacon.


We got home just in time for O to nap while I watched my old high school softball team play in the state championship game… They lost 1-0, but it was a great game and I’m super proud of them.

On Sunday, O and I went to the Strawberry Festival with MIL while The BF was fishing.



Giant tenderloin... The bun is hiding under that enormous, delicious hunk o ' fried pork


O ate almost half of my tenderloin and a bunch of MIL's veggies...Plus strawberries and ice cream.


He loved his great-grandpa's pedal tractors


As I was getting the condiments for my tenderloin,  a guy walked up behind me and exclaimed,  “That’s huge! Where are you going to put it? You surely can’t eat the whole thing!” Little did he know that I absolutely could eat it all, but I explained that I was sharing it with my bottomless pit child.

After coming home, we let the boy nap for about an hour before heading out again. Our first stop was The BF’s grandpa’s house. He loves donuts,  so we brought him one jelly filled and one bacon donut, plus some strawberries from the garden for good measure. O loves going to his house because he can play with the dog, a sweet, old beagle named Daisy. 

We had dinner at Rancho Bravo. O loves the chips so much that I think he ate a whole basket of them, then he started in on my chicken nachos. Bottomless pit, that kid.

After dinner, we wished my dad a happy Father’s Day while O ran around like a maniac and counted water bottles with my mom.

Our final stop for the night was to visit The BF’s other set of grandparents. We chatted for a bit while O inhaled a snack of Goldfish, yogurt bites, raisins, and puffs (maybe a growth spurt?), and as we said goodbye they handed us a chocolate dessert to take home.

O was asleep not long after we got home, and The BF and I were both worn out. I poured two glasses of milk, grabbed a couple of spoons, and we ate every bit of that chocolate dessert. Poor little O didn’t even get a bite.


Worst parents ever.

I think The BF had a great day. The present I ordered didn’t show up on time, he didn’t catch any fish, and he had to replace a belt on the van…but he still wore a smile on his face all day, and that’s really all that matters.


The BF’S mom and I took O and his cousin to town this morning.


Shoe shopping for a toddler is super fun

After our errands were done, we stopped for lunch. Going anywhere with The BF’s mom is like traveling with a celebrity, because she knows everyone. At lunch, we saw her parents and sister…Aunt J picked O up to say hi and exclaimed, “What do you feed this kid?!”

I get that question a lot…I mean, he’s a tank of a child. Also? He has huge feet.

Anyway, feeding a toddler can be…frustrating.  They’re fickle little creatures,  so one day your sweet child will devour his steamed broccoli.  The next day? Nope.
O is (obviously) typically a good eater, and he’s game to try just about anything you put in front of him (he gobbled up my fried okra at a restaurant once. I was both proud and sad, because I really wanted to eat my okra). I’ve found (through lots of trial and error) a handful of foods that are toddler approved and pretty simple. I wouldn’t be a very good blogger if I didn’t share them with my readers, so here you are, a list of a few of the things I feed my chid…though sometimes I feel like the answer to that question is, “Whatever isn’t nailed down.”

Refrigerator Oatmeal

Breakfast cookies (Use any kind of dried fruit and nut that you like…These go over really well. I like to warm them in the toaster)

Pancakes and fresh fruit (I like to make a full batch of pancakes and freeze the leftovers. You can pop them in the toaster to warm ’em up)

Egg muffins (same deal, make a bunch at once and freeze them.)

Leftovers from last night’s dinner (easiest thing on the planet, just warm it up and it’s ready)

Peanut butter on toast, cottage cheese, fresh fruit

Mac and cheese with veggies (I start this one while he’s napping so it will be ready and cooled), fruit and yogurt

Brown rice with chicken/turkey/ham and veggies (really easy if you make the rice ahead and freeze it. Then just heat it up and add deli meat and steamed veggies) apple sauce

Chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries, apple slices or grapes

Snack tray

Snack time

Snack tray (fill the spots in an ice cube tray with whatever you have on hand. O loves this)



Raisins or yogurt covered raisins (Fun fact: they go through some sort of time machine while being digested, and they come out looking like grapes again!)

Peanuts or cashews

Pretzels or crackers

Peanut butter and graham crackers/pretzels

Veggies and dip

This stuff:

My kid crams these things into his face by the fistful and I’m ok with it. For one thing, the yogurts help keep things going, so if he hasn’t pooped all day I hand him an open bag and let him go for it. The puffs are just really good, especially the peach flavor. Sweet potato is a close second (tied with banana) and blueberry comes in dead last. I love blueberries, but those puffs are nasty. Plus, the smell will knock you over. You open the can and it’s all, BLUEBERRY up in your face.

He drinks whole milk with every meal and snack, and water in between.

I also like to have canned soup on hand for when I find my lunch options limited. It happens occasionally, and sometimes I just don’t want to go to the store. The boy really loves split pea and ham.

For dinner, he eats whatever we’re having. I have no desire to fix two seperate meals so why even get that started?

What are your favorite toddler foods?

My Mother’s Day actually started on Saturday night. The BF has never been good at waiting to give presents and Mother’s Day was no exception.  He just gets so excited that I think he really might explode if he has to wait. So Saturday night, I got a bundt cake pan, a knitting book, some yarn, and a new coffee mug.

I was over the moon excited about all of my gifts, and I spent all day Sunday playing with my new toys.


I'm pretty sure coffee tastes better when you're drinking out of your new Mother's Day mug.


Brown sugar toffee cake with caramel sauce

After O had breakfast, The BF took him on a ranger ride around the property while I baked this (insanely delicious) cake. When they got back, they presented me with freshly picked wild flowers.


Learning to knit!


After dropping off my flowers, the boys zoomed off again so I could have some more peaceful quiet time. The cake was in the oven and I had the kitchen cleaned up, so I grabbed some scrap yarn and started to practice knitting.

I spent the rest of the morning sipping coffee and knitting, pausing once to put the boy down for his nap when they got back. I love that The BF so sweetly made sure that I got to have a little quiet time.

The BF was in and out for the rest of the day because he had a few things he wanted to get done before the work week started. One of which was washing my car because he’s awesome.

My brother, SIL, and niece stopped by for a visit and surprised me with flowers and a balloon. I was sad that I didn’t have anything to give my SIL, so I cut a big chunk of cake for them to take home.


My parents stopped by on their way to visit my Mamaw. O gave mom her card and I made them eat a piece of cake before cutting another big hunk for them to give to my Mamaw and Aunt.


Where did my cake go?!

The BF came home and showered, then played with the boy so I could take a super long, hot shower. I even shaved my legs!

We piled into the van and headed to dinner at Rancho Bravo, where I stuffed myself with chimichangas, fresh salsa, fresh guacamole, and a homemade hot sauce that is just out of this world. It’s also SUPER spicy, so I recommend it for anyone suffering from a stuffy nose.

We had the sweetest waitress…She complimented my perfume and didn’t bat an eye when the boy tried to share his food with her. As we were getting ready to leave, she brought me a rose and wished me a happy Mother’s Day.

We ended our day with a nice drive out in the country. O babbled and sang in the back until he finally gave up and went to sleep, while The BF and I chatted about all kinds of things.



I’m thinking that Mother’s Day might just officially be my favorite holiday. I’m also thinking I have some major planning to do so I can make sure The BF has a kick ass Father’s Day.


My kitchen window is full of Mother's Day flowers.

Here’s hoping that everyone I know had a wonderful Mother’s Day. I know I’ve only had two so far but I declare this one to be the best ever!

How did you celebrate Mother’s Day?


Happy Mother’s Day to all of my fellow human jungle gyms, boo boo kissers, butt (and nose!) wipers, food fixers, tantrum calmer-downers,  huggers, and givers of love.

I hope you all have a beautiful day!

I’ve been trying to come up with new activities for O since it seems like we’re never EVER gonna get to play outside.

I actually kind of hate when people complain about the weather because, unless you just moved to Indiana, you should be used to this by now. We’ve had snow on Easter before, people…  But I think I can say I speak for a lot of people when I say…We have had enough of winter. I repeat: WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

I’ve managed to get the boy outside to play exactly three times. I even made some bubble solution one day, but it was way too windy. Lame.


The thing is, O is perfectly happy to play inside, I just like to give him new things to do every now and then. A friend posted some pictures on Facebook of her daughter having fun with some homemade play dough and thought it would be perfect for a fun new activity. The fact that it was edible and used stuff I already had? Even better!

My friend suggested this recipe and it worked really well. I had to use peach apple oatmeal because we didn’t have rice, but I think it was fine.


It looks green in the pictures, but I actually dyed it blue. O poked at it for a while, occasionally looking up at me and saying, “Boo?”. It didn’t take long for him to eat the whole lump (thank goodness I only gave him a little). That made for some…interesting…diapers.

Of course I got busy and forgot to put it in the refrigerator, so I ended up tossing ours out. It was fun while it lasted, and I think it was a good way to use up the baby cereal we had left. I think for my next project I’ll find something that will survive being left on the counter, though.

Do you have a great toddler – approved indoor activity? Share it in the comments!

Nothing is out of his reach.


If your kid “isn’t much of a climber” then please understand that I hate you. Ok, not really…but try living with a kid that sees every surface as his personal jungle gym. I’m not sure I will ever recover from the scare he gave me when he figured out how to climb out of his crib. I guess that’s what I get for trying to pee by myself.

You’re basically living with a tiny drunk person.


If you’ve ever tended bar, you know what it’s like to be the sober person in a sea of drunks. Imagine that it’s only one tiny, destructive, loud, adorable guy with slightly more coordination BUT less inhibition than your typical full – size drunk. Oh, and this kid never sobers up. If he feels like stumbling in circles around the living room with a basket on his head while yelling gibberish, by God that’s what he’s gonna do. Utensils like forks and spoons are optional equipment at mealtime… Often shoving fistfuls of food in the general direction of his mouth is the way he likes to go. Try reasoning with the kid. Ain’t gonna happen…No way, no how.

No. No. No. No. No. I said no. No. No. 

There will be days when you feel like the only word you say is “No.” Well, Except when you’re saying things like, “You know better”, or, “Get down from there!” But basically, it’s all the same.

Every day is a new adventure…but not really.


Pretty much all of our days have the same basic structure: wake up, diaper change, breakfast, brush teeth, play, nap, lunch, play, nap, play, dinner, play, brush teeth, book, bed. It sometimes feels a bit Groundhog Dayish. The thing is, as much as every day is the same, each day is also very different. He may learn a new skill and spend the day showing it off, or he could be grouchy because of a new tooth. Some days he will sit quietly in his favorite corner and play, other days he wants to RUN! and JUMP! and CLIMB!

Oh, you thought we’d be sleeping through the night by now?


Look, I’m pretty lucky as far as how much sleep I get most nights. Typically I’m in bed by 10:00 and we get up around 7:30. Yes, that’s more than 9 hours of sleep. I need those nights to make up for the ones that aren’t so peaceful. We recently went through a week of the FIRST MOLAR FROM HELL (AKA jerk tooth) that was rather slow in making it’s appearance. We’d give him Tylenol at bedtime, and he’d wake up as soon as it wore off. That was a very un-fun week for all of us. Of course, he also gets the occasional gas bubble or has a bad dream (I guess?)…And the walls in our house are so thin that I can hear most every noise he makes. Even during a peaceful night my sleep is interrupted.

Cheerios are a dietary staple.


My diet largely consists of coffee, Cheerios, and whatever O doesn’t eat. Ok, I’m mostly kidding, because I do typically eat an actual meal a dinner… but sometimes by the time I have a chance to sit down at the end of a day, I realize I’ve only ingested coffee and a handful of Puffs.

You develop a very high tolerance for embarrassment.

Toddlers are as unpredictable as the day is long. My kid is typically pretty well-behaved in public, but that doesn’t mean he won’t occasionally get a little nuts. Recently we ran into my SIL at the store, so I moved my cart out of the way to talk to her about something. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that a display full of batteries was well within his reach, so of course he began pulling the biggest packages off of the shelf and throwing them at the floor. One of the packages even burst open, much to my dismay. My SIL and I managed to get all of the packages back on the shelf, and I located all of the loose batteries from the open container and took them to customer service to apologize. The lady was super nice and told me not to be embarrassed…And I actually wasn’t. At least that time didn’t involve him lifting my shirt up in the canned goods aisle to point to my belly.

It’s crazy, disgusting, exhilarating, messy, frustrating, wild, fun, and exhausting…

…but you’ll love every minute of it.

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