Here are a few phrases I could go without for maybe forever:
Post – baby body
The post baby body stuff is ridiculous. Women resorting to extreme measures (diet pills, starvation diets) to lose the baby weight at any cost and then posting selfies on Facebook for attention…Come on. First of all, it’s super obvious when you’re sucking in. Second of all, you may just be making another woman feel bad about herself because she’s struggling to lose the baby weight naturally. At the end of the day, your baby doesn’t care what you look like and to be quite honest, neither do I.
You want to know a secret? I don’t care if you snapped right back the second you squeezed that kid out, your body will never, ever, EVER be the same.
I actually weigh less than I have in years right now. Outwardly, it appears that I have achieved the post baby Holy Grail or some such nonsense. You know what, though? Running is no longer a workout option for me. Pregnancy obliterated my hips and knees so that after a few light runs I was in pain for a month. I can’t do high knees without peeing a little. In fact, sometimes I pee when I sneeze, or cough, or laugh, or turn my head the wrong way.
My c-section and myomectomy scars are annoying as Hell. I don’t know how something can be numb but still itch and occasionally ache. Have you ever tried to scratch an itch on a part of your body that is numb? My God, it’s maddening. You could use a cheese grater and it still wouldn’t provide relief.
My poor boobs. I don’t even really have boobs anymore… just sad little flaps. Like, I might not fill out my first training bra. The boy will sometimes pull the neck of my shirt out and take a look…only to pop up and shrug his shoulders at me like, “There’s nothing down there, mama!”
But how do you expect your body to go through such a hugely enormous thing and remain unscathed? I like my body now… post – baby flaws and all. Maybe even because of my flaws. I’ve always embraced my scars but even the ones on my legs (that run from my knee to almost my hip) from bashing through glass aren’t as cool as my baby – removal one.
You might have been surprised to see mommy wars up there. I’ve written about it before, I’ve even shared a couple of other articles on Facebook. I’m guilty of contributing to this particular issue but I can’t be the only one that’s sick of hearing about it. If we stopped arguing over which parenting style is best, or whether stay at home moms or working moms have it harder, or God only knows what else… Maybe we would realize that it just doesn’t matter.
It just doesn’t matter.
Formula is great. Breastfeeding is great. The objective is to make sure your baby thrives. Just don’t put Mountain Dew in the kid’s bottle and you’re probably fine.
My kid sleeps in a crib in his own room. Are you locking your kid in a closet at night? No? Ok, you’re probably good.
I stay home with my boy. You leave the house to go to your job? Great! Guess what… we both work.
We all have insecurities about the way we parent. I worry constantly that my kid isn’t eating enough, or that I’m not giving him the right foods… I get all worked up about dentist and doctor appointments because I worry that he’ll have a cavity or he won’t have gained enough weight. I cringe every time he falls or runs into something because, there goes Harvard! You can drive yourself batshit crazy with what if scenarios but as long as you aren’t dropping your kid on his or her face all the time you’re probably doing ok.
So. Can we please drop it?
Ok, actually, not yet. I want to hear about your post – baby body weirdness or your extreme parenting fears (you know, the ones that are so out there they’re actually funny)… So leave a comment here and we’ll all have a good laugh.