My Dad’s sense of humor is at times almost painfully corny… I think a good chunk of my sense of humor is the same way. My dad somehow always has a terribly groanworthy joke to tell and while some people might think they’re stupid, I find them hilarious.

Q. Why does Santa wash his clothes in Tide?

A. Because it’s too cold out-tide!

Q. How to you top a car?

A. You ‘tep on the brake ‘tupid!

Q. Why are turds tapered?

A. So your butthole doesn’t slam shut!

I’m sure my mother is just bursting with pride after reading that one…

My absolute favorite Dad joke is one that wouldn’t be funny at all in this format… It’s one of those joke I will never get tired of. I go through phases that involve me telling the joke over and over until it really isn’t funny to anyone but me. Hell, at times I just like to yell the punch line at people.

Then again, I tend to think sneaking up behind people and yelling anything at them is funny. I would LOVE to capture the joke and the victim’s reaction on video someday but as you can probably imagine, I’ve told the joke to pretty much everyone I know. Now they all know what’s coming and it isn’t nearly as hilarious.

I’m a big fan of startling people, too… My mom is pretty easily startled and this is (as usual) an endless source of amusement for me. I really enjoy waiting at the door bathroom door whenever she’s in there with my nose practically touching it, so when she opens the door I simply say “Hi!” and startle the daylights out of her.

I’m giggling just thinking about it.

One person I try hard not to startle is The Boyfriend. He has guns.



Share your favorite corny jokes in the comments!