One of my first words was dirt, kid you not. According to my mom, my official first-ever word was Dada, followed by dirt and then Pepsi. I had my priorities in line from an early age.
You know, I tried to do things the way you’re supposed to. When I graduated from high school I went to college because…well, because that’s just what you do, right?
That lasted for a whole year.
I’m glad I went…I had a lot of great experiences, met a lot of people I’m still friends with today and I might not be with The Boyfriend now if I hadn’t gone. College just wasn’t my thing. Correction: College was awesome, but they expected you to go to all of these pesky classes and do things like study. That’s the part I had a problem with.
Obviously I’m not good at doing things the way you’re supposed to.
This morning I had to get up early and get dressed up for an appointment. I stopped and bought a pair of pantyhose because a.) it’s friggin’ cold outside all of a sudden, and b.) I firmly believe in the power of pantyhose.
After I got out of the shower I dried off and started getting dressed. I picked up the package of pantyhose and noticed that it had specific instructions on it to ‘Open from bottom’.
Well screw you, pantyhose package. I opened you from the top because I DO WHAT I WANT.
Willful disobedience indeed.