If there’s anything I actually hate, it’s buying tampons. I don’t even like walking down that aisle of the store so I avoid it like the plague. I know it’s going to seem silly, but there’s a part of me that thinks my lady organs will kick into gear if I happen to walk through that aisle and there’s nothing I hate more than Surprise! periods. I know, I know…but you wouldn’t tempt fate and walk by a sleeping giant wearing a necklace made of bells, now would you?

The biggest reason I hate it is because it’s so damn confusing. Why do we need so many choices?!  I get the need for regular, super, etc… And while I have no idea who would purchase the cardboard applicators on purpose, I suppose having an option in that area is nice as well. Some of the other things just baffle me…

– Brightly colored wrappers. Um, really? Why don’t I just slap a sign on my head that says I’M ON MY PERIOD, Y’ALL!? Because in case you haven’t noticed, a bright magenta wrapper stands out just a little when you throw it in a bathroom trash can.  It’s also really hard to get from my desk to the bathroom without someone noticing the brightly colored bundle in my hand.

– Scented tampons and pads?! Look, I don’t need my hoo ha smelling like a tropical paradise, ok?

– Pretty designs on pads and tampon applicators. Is that really necessary? I mean, the people that make these things do know where we’re putting them, right?

– Don’t even get me started on how incredibly disgusting I think those Instead cups are. Just. So. Gross.

About once a month, I find myself staring at the plethora of brightly colored packages promising me that I’ll be able to play sports! and smell fresh! while going through my special womanly time. Occasionally, my eyes will wander just a bit to the adult diapers that are usually hanging out in the same section…and don’t think I don’t consider it as a valid option for a few minutes.

It’s hard being a woman.