The state of Indiana has passed a law that (as of today) makes it illegal to text while driving. From what I understand, the fines would be up to $500.00 for such a horrendous offence.

Did you catch the sarcasm? I hope so.

Come on, people. I realize that texting while driving distracts the driver and can lead to accidents…but this law isn’t going to stop anyone. The people that will obey this law are the very same people that already don’t do it.

I’m sure there are some people that are busy rubbing hands together in anticipation of just how much money the tickets will bring in, though.

Since we’re busing making laws that make being distracted while behind the wheel illegal, I propose a few more:

– Listening to music while driving. Everyone gets a little too into a song on the radio now and then and kinda slacks on paying attention for a second. Also, you have to take your eyes off the road to change the radio station. Better hand out some fines for that.

– Parents, you’d better start thinking of ways to transport your kids without driving. Nothing is more distracting than trying to drive with a tantrum-throwing toddler in the backseat. I should know, I drove to Texas with a pair of (2 and 5 year-old) siblings in the back and their mother in the passenger seat blocking out the screams. Yeeeesh.

– Talking to passengers in your car. You know, why don’t we just make it illegal to have any passengers, period?

– You know how you sometimes hear about a guy that’s so busy checking out an accident while passing it that he causes another wreck? Well now it’s illegal to look at all. IN FACT, let’s make it illegal to have accidents because they do tend to be a distraction to other drivers.

– In-dash DVD players. Sorry, you might be tempted to watch your favorite episode of Leave it to Beaver on your way to work so now you just can’t have them at all.

– Being too caffeinated while driving. You’re all hopped up and looking around everywhere…HEY LOOK! THERE’S A BIRD! OH, A BILLBOARD! AND THERE’S A WHITE CASTLE! OOPS! THE GUY IN FRONT OF ME JUST CAME TO A SUDDEN STOP AND I DIDN’T NOTICE ‘CAUSE I SAW SOMETHING SHINY!

– We all know driving while drunk is bad. Why not start handing out tickets for driving while DUMB?