At work I can set my status to things like ‘Away From Desk’ or ‘Available’ or ‘Project’. It’s basically a way to let the bosses know what I’m doing at any point during the day and to control when phone calls can be routed to me.

Recently we got a new feature on our phone system…The ability to set your status, then type a note that describes exactly what you’re doing. The best part is that the note is then displayed next to your status for the whole company to see.

I’m sure you all know where I’m going with this.

I was just having a conversation with another coworker regarding this new feature. I was telling him that whenever I put myself in ‘Away From Desk’ I’m tempted to make my status note ‘Gotta pee’ or ‘I drank a lot of coffee’, regardless of what I’m actually doing. Of course, he couldn’t just leave it at that. He suggested ‘Dropping a deuce’.  Other people got involved and the list of possible status notes ended up including:

Dropping the kids off at the pool

Doing a crossword

Pinching off a loaf

Dropping a bomb


Fumigating the bathroom

Deep knee bends

Making room for desert

Putting the ol’ eight-ball in the hole

(I didn’t understand a couple of them, either…)

So a simple comment about our new status messages lead to a discussion about pooping.  I’d say that’s definitely a work-appropriate topic.