Me: Hey, do you think it would still be prostitution if the hooker sold raffle tickets and had a drawing to determine who would get her services?

Friend: Wait…what?!

Me: You know, ’cause the money is being exchanged for the TICKETS and not for SEX.

Friend: I’m not sure that would work.

Me: But it’s a great idea! They’ve been doing it wrong this whole time… I mean, you can sell an unlimited amount of raffle tickets in a day but there are only so many…uh…services a prostitute could perform in a 24-hour period.


Me: For real, this is a breakthrough for the world’s oldest profession.


Me: Do you think they have a union rep I could call? Ladies of the Night Local 69?